It finally happened. I finally had my closure. It was the one i aimed for but not the one i hoped…

It finally happened. I finally had my closure. It was the one i aimed for but not the one i hoped i’d get. It’s so hard to be told by the person you’ve been madly in love with for 3 years that they just see you as a friend. But what made it easier is their way of saying it. After all, you fell in love with them for many reasons and this is one. He was acknowledging and he understood. He said some very nice words, maybe the only words that i’ve needing to hear : “i don’t share your experience, i just liked you as a friend but i respect and cherish what we had and you will always be a good memory”
I had my closure. I don’t have to speculate anymore, did he or didn’t he love me? He didn’t. Does he or doesn’t he hate me for what i did? I apologized and he fully accepted the apology. Are we or aren’t we cool?! We cool.
Again, what i aimed for but not what i have hoped for. It’s hard to fall from grace and it’s even harder to be forcibly pulled from grace and into reality.
My heart is bruised. My ego and pride are shattered cause i was delusional enough to send something before that i will forever regret and because i just got rejected. But it was in a sweet, non condescending way and that’s like the best way.
I feel weird though. Now i actually have to move on. I have absolutely no excuse anymore. I have to let him go. But now what will i think about every waken second of my day?!
This is gonna take so much strength, i hope i have enough of it.